Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday bloody Sunday


I, Tina Hatch, lover of Bette Davis movies and kitten videos, really like to see things blow up. And cars fly off tracks and into crowds, and sharks swirling in tourist-infested waters and dinosaurs munching on dishonest corporate attorneys.

There, I said it.

I sometimes pretend to be high brow, but my closest friends know the truth. I may get on my soapbox about using only real, aged Parmigiano Reggiano (for the love of God, not the pre-grated stuff in a can!) but I still like grilled cheese sandwiches with squishy white bread and American cheese. I may rail against the idiocy of movies like Transformers and G.I. Joe, but I actually went to see Undercover Brother in the theater. And loved it.

I spent most of today watching dino movies, Destroyed in Seconds (where horrible things happen and by far the best show on TLC) and nature movies that showed landslides and torrential flooding in endless instant replays. There is something exhilirating about watching scary, bad, catastrophic things happen and know that you are safely ensconced in your living room on an otherwise lackluster Sunday. Or is it the thrill of knowing that at any moment, my life could be in danger? I could be trying to cross the street, and above me on the overpass a truck hauling thousands of pounds of lemons could overturn and pour onto the street. Who wants to die crushed to death by lemons? (This actually happened on Destroyed in Seconds today. The guy wasn't crushed to death, but I was amused by imagining his obituary if he had been. I am sick.)

I am not an even remotely violent person. I'm a pacifist (unless it's a kung fu war, then I'm down) and I hate seeing people get hurt. Once I saw an elderly man fall down on the sidewalk and he was clearly more embarassed than hurt, but I almost cried for him. But if that elderly gentleman had flipped his truck and it exploded and he got out and walked away, unscathed? That would have been cool.